You’re packed, on the plane and finally worked out how that maddeningly hi-tech personal video screen in front of you works, so now you can sit back and enjoy Kath & Kim re-runs and truly leave your worries and cares far behind. Yes, you’re on holiday, celebrate, but is it really all about coming together in every nation, as Madonna would have it, for the HIV+ traveller? Greg Page examines the finer points of getting away from it all.
Taking your physical and mental well-being on a holiday
Always remember that going on holidays can, at times, be an arduous experience. Waiting for trains, buses, or planes (or a donkey depending on which off-the-beaten-track path you’ve opted for) and then taking them, is not always an easy task. There will be bumps in the road, and, yes, on occasion you will feel them too. Trying to keep in good spirits and telling yourself it’s “all a learning curve” is a good way of looking on the bright side, when matters have taken a distinctly cloudier turn.
The same goes for your health and your emotional state. Putting yourself into a position where you feel you aren’t coping, or you may break-down, is not going to do anyone any favours. It’s also likely to ruin your vacation. Always try to keep a few options open. Be well-versed in the region in which you’re travelling. Have alternate places to stay, or know where there might be a gay-friendly premises you can call on if you need help. Don’t just head somewhere totally unprepared, unless you’re prepared for the unexpected. Then it truly will be a wild crazy ride of a holiday, and not that relaxing break from the neighbours, the boss and the misery guts girl from the Express Lane at Coles that it should be.
Travelling with treatments or taking treatment breaks
It’s quite possible at your time of departure that you may be on treatment and so, while it may seem churlish to nag, make sure you have enough provisions of your meds to last you the journey. Packing extra treatments in case something happens is also not a bad idea. Take along a doctor’s note that the meds you carry are for a specific illness (in case you are questioned at customs etc) and also never put your meds in your luggage. Always keep them with you in your cabin bag when flying, so you can keep an eye on them. Airlines are notorious for losing bags, whether for days or for eternity, and you don’t want to lose your treatments whatever you do.
Don’t assume if something does happen to your meds that the country in which you’re travelling will instantly be able to replenish your supply, or that somehow Mr. Kevin Rudd has miraculously make a marvellous deal with this particular country’s version of Medicare for “replacement packs”. The likelihood is he hasn’t. You have been warned.
It’s also not a bad idea to take a prescription with you in case you need to get new medication for some reason. Also be aware of any restrictions for HIV+ people entering a particular country. When travelling to the US, for example, there are still formal restrictions on HIV+ people entering. Having medication on you is only proof to them of this. If you are travelling there, there is the possibility of sending the meds on to your end US destination. Inherent in that are, of course, risks if the package is opened up and examined.
There is the possibility to consider a treatment break for the length of your vacation, but this is something that you need to discuss with your HIV specialist and make an informed decision on. For the US, there is also the possibility to consider waiting until a new, more HIV-friendly government has changed the archaic entry rules, which hopefully won’t be far away.
Love, sex and long distance romances
Discovering new places can also mean discovering new things about yourself (we won’t mention dysentery in certain places can also be an unfortunate side effect of “Delhi belly”). Travel can awaken the senses, broaden your horizons and open you up to a whole host of new experiences you never expected, contemplated, or, perhaps, even knew you were missing until you tried them, particularly when it comes to affairs of the heart.
Long distance romances are perhaps even more common in the gay world than they are in the straight world. Think of your own circle of friends and those who have been through the “I went overseas on holiday and all I came back with was a hot new boyfriend”. Sure beats a lousy $2 T-shirt that unravels on the second wash!
Although there are those who have managed to transform a holiday romance into a long-term relationship, there are a number of hurdles here, and not all of them involve you leaping over them in shorty-shorts. There are visas, hardened bureaucrats and the tyranny of distance as well. While there is the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, remember the downside to that is “out of sight, out of mind”. With the internet, Skype, email, mobiles and Gaydar it is certainly more of a global village than it ever was and staying in touch with someone from a far-flung land was never easier. But remember that “what happens on holiday, stays on holiday” is worth taking into consideration unless you’re prepared to put in the hard yards. Love is a fickle beast that can take some fierce taming, so unless you are prepared to go the whole hog, then enjoy your new-found flame for the time allotted and then get back to your Lonely Planet guide, or Spartacus guide, and move on. This is your holiday after all. You want to recharge the batteries, try new things, so best to keep moving and try and keep heartache at a reasonable distance.
Of course, love is not sex, though the two do generally work rather marvellously when hand in hand. Hitting exotic locales and sampling the talents from those shores can be a wonderful experience. Just remember that you do have a duty to keep yourself and the person (or persons) you are canoodling with safe. Pack plenty of lube and condoms to take with you, because the odds are that where you’re going they won’t have any. Remember, only do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The whole gay travel experience
Being open to new adventures is certainly one of the greatest joys in life. Travelling and experiencing new things, dipping into a lifestyle different from your own and soaking up the local culture are all things that can truly enrich a person’s life, long after the holiday photos have worn out their welcome back at home with all your envious friends.
There are some who insist being a gay traveller often affords them an even greater insight into what goes on behind closed doors. How often have you met someone, had sex with them, and then seen first hand where they live and how they live. That’s a life of life few straight people ever get to witness, unless they remain in one place for a long time and become integrated into the local community. Gay men have an almost tribal nature, with sex often as the calling card of entry.
Always remember though never to outstay your welcome and that a small gift, no matter how token, is always appreciated. A good tip is to head down to Paddy’s Market and buy one of those packs of ten mini koala bears for a few dollars and keep them handy and dole them out to those who you believe deserve them. As kitsch as we may view a toy koala, for others around the world it’s something indelibly Australian and, of course, something they ain’t gonna be able to buy at home (unless of course you’re travelling to China whereas you might find the mini koalas are noticeably cheaper to buy than they are at Paddys!).
If you do want the full gay travel experience, why not indulge in a gay cruise and get all of that homosexualness out of you system in one big bang, so to speak? Besides, after a week on a cruise ship with hundreds of gay men, you’re likely to need a real holiday!!
A travelling companion vs travelling alone
Many esteemed folks insist travel is something best shared with someone along for the ride. Having a travelling companion on the journey with you can be a true bonding experience. It can, however, also reveal where the limitations of a friendship lie and as well as reveal the true nature of either the other person or yourself. Snoring, whoring and boring generally do not make for a good travel mate. Be aware of this before you sign yourself and someone else up for a once-in-a-lifetime trip. You may find you come back and never-in-a-lifetime speak to each other again.
There is conversely the option of travelling by yourself. If you’re an independent sole, then this is clearly the best option. You can go where you want, when you want and also pay as much as you want. It’s also good if you’re planning to indulge in some of the local menfolk along the way. It’s much easier to connect and hook-up with a potential new best friend than when someone’s waiting for you back at the hotel with a severe case of diarrhoea.
Maintaining a routine whilst travelling
If you’re doing a lot of travelling, usually involving planes, a good way to combat jet lag and sore feet is to exercise. This can be as simple as lifting a few books, or similar, in a hotel room, doing a few crunches, going for a jog around the city, or hitting the hotel gym, A massage is also a good way to unwind and relax after a strenuous trip. Look after yourself and remember the magic word “pampering”. You’re on holidays, after all! A facial, hitting the local spa, or seeing what the local remedies are for keeping skin as taut and terrific as those women in Double Bay who pay thousands for the privilege, is a excellent idea. You don’t have to bath in milk, or go under the knife, but looking good is feeling great - as Eddie said in the aptly-titled Absolutely Fabulous.
A plan of attack vs planning nothing!
When travelling the best plan of attack is always have a plan, if it’s the kind of holiday where you want to tick all of the boxes in regards to everything the guide book says is a “must see”. Don’t forget though, there are only a certain amount of hours in a day, and only a certain amount of daylight hours at that. Give yourself a schedule both enjoyable and doable. Don’t pack too much into your day - after all you want to soak up some of that local ambiance after all, n’est-ce pas?
Then again you may need a holiday where nothing is planned and you simply go with the flow. Two weeks on a beach doing rien but working on those tanlines, sipping mango daiquiris and ogling the native talent could be a real plan to help get you back on track.
Coming home
There’s an old saying that the best thing about going somewhere else is you always get to come home again after. Like Dorothy uttered in The Wizard of Oz, “there’s no place like home”. Do ensure on your return that those lovely relaxing chill-out vibes from your vacation don’t disappear in an instant with a bank-up of bills to be paid, phone messages from family members that must be answered now and all that washing you’ve brought home with you. This is when packing “lite” for a trip comes in double handy when you return home with very little. A good rule of thumb when you pack is to get everything into your bag. Leave it for a few hours if possible, then come back and remove at least half of it out again. You’ll be thankful when you come home and are face-to-face with the washing machine again, after all! Bon voyage!
Planning a trip overseas?
Find out more about
- travelling with medication,
- insurance
- what to do in a health emergency
- entry restrictions
in Up, Up and Away a new booklet produced by PLWHA Victoria.
If you would like a copy call Positive Life NSW on (02) 9361 6011 or freecall 1800 245 677
You can also check out the website www.positivetravel.info [4] for travel information.