Positive Life NSW

The Northern Rivers Gay Men with HIV Retreat was recently held in a bush setting under Woolumbin (Mt Warning). Organised by ACON and supported by Positive Life, this annual getaway allows gay men from regional NSW and south-east Queensland a chance to chill out in a healthy, supportive, educational environment with other gay men living with HIV. This year’s retreat was well attended and a number of guys shared their personal experiences with Talkabout. 

Photo by Hédimo Santana

Paul

This year was a reflective one for me. A number of things reminded me of my attendance at previous retreats, going back to 2002. There were even fascinating photos of the very first Northern Rivers Positive Retreat and some of those present this year had been at that first one some 15 odd years earlier. A clear reminder of how we're all ageing!

My thoughts inevitably turned to those I'd connected with at previous retreats who weren't attending this one either because they'd moved too far away or because they were no longer with us.

We were asked to jot down a few words on what being HIV+ meant for us now. I emphasised that while many of our friends had died of AIDS or related conditions, we were now living with HIV, no longer dying – or even (necessarily) that sick – and therefore pretty fortunate to be here.

For me, at least, it's become a chronic manageable illness. Though staying physically and mentally healthy will always remain a challenge. I also reflected that I've now lived one third of my life with HIV! It feels pretty good to be alive and living in the Northern Rivers – my little corner of paradise.

PS: The catering team were fabulous!

Rick

As a non-scene guy who originally had many apprehensions about attending my first retreat, I can honestly say that three years on, it has become an event I look forward to each year.

I guess like every one else I had that initial fear of not knowing anyone or of not fitting in. I was so amazed at how friendly everyone was and quickly made some casual acquaintances along with a number of long-lasting good friends. Everyone there contributed to a wonderfully uplifting and positive experience.

So, what was the main agenda? Simply whatever you wanted it to be. For me it was an opportunity to escape the daily grind, to totally relax and to recharge. I found plenty of time to socialise, to laugh, to contemplate and to learn.

The setting was absolutely beautiful. The accommodation clean and comfortable and the food was awesome not to mention, shh, healthy.

For anyone who hasn’t been to a retreat before, I can highly recommend it and am confident that you will get a lot more out of it than you expected. 

Chris

It was a great way of getting away from city living. Time out to reflect and unwind. Absolutely fantastic food and great organisation. The retreat was the perfect opportunity to meet others and spend time. 

Erik

The retreat was a haven for me. I’ve been to retreats in the past and found them fun and informative and have gained a lot from the formal workshops.

Because my work doesn’t allow me much social interaction, I decided not to focus on the workshops and formal activities, but just attend and chill out with like-minded guys.

I had been feeling very down and had lots of black thoughts, not quite suicidal, but close, and the retreat turned all that around. I was able to relax, enjoy myself, have lots of talks with friends and guys I hadn’t seen for a while. It almost literally saved my life!

I’m in a much better head space for it. It was great to see poz guys there with their neg boyfriends.
The food was like a smorgasbord and kept coming all day and into the night. Well done everyone! 

Greg

This was my third retreat in a row, each and every one has offered me something different. This year was the most rewarding – from the moment I arrived and breathed in the air and soaked up the atmosphere, I felt totally relaxed!

It was wonderful seeing people from past retreats and new guys for the first time. Everyone seemed to be in the same frame of mind, relaxed and receptive.

My highlights were the sensational food, the totally relaxed atmosphere and the sharing of stories. I could have stayed forever!

I always look forward to the following year, even before this one has finished, it is a huge highlight of my life!
Thanks to all those responsible for putting the retreat on, it really means the world to me. 

Paul

I wish to thank the organisers for allowing clients of QPP and QAHC to attend the retreat held by ACON in the Northern Rivers.

This was a fantastic weekend away spending time with our interstate brothers who are facing the same issues as we are in such a private and peaceful rural setting.

I do hope the hard work Neil, Dermot and the whole crew put in has achieved the desired outcome. The results for me personally were amazing. It has been far too many years since I felt so relaxed, energised and able to enjoy spending time chatting about relevant issues to me and my peers, with my peers!

The entire weekend was of great interest and I feel I have learned a lot from the broad range of activities. I feel it would be a huge benefit if people from all over could be invited to future retreats to enjoy the camaraderie and learning opportunities.

I think the friendships formed over the weekend will continue to strengthen for years to come through the shared experiences at the retreat. I have now found some great new mates and have built some social supports I have been in need of for some time.

The activities were second to none and we could participate in as many or as few as we wished.
I particularly enjoyed yoga and meditation classes as they were of a level that everyone from a novice to the advanced were able to join in and still benefit.

I thought the remedial massage afternoon was a great touch to the weekend as was the late morning trip spent leisurely canoeing around the scenic dam. I have been unable to stop raving to all who would listen about how much fun was had and also the excellent meals prepared nutritiously and somehow still so delicious by Shane and the kitchen.

Lastly, I hope the funding not only continues but is extended to allow more people to attend such an affordable, fantastic retreat in the future. This retreat provided for us guys on the same journey, the opportunity of building social inclusion networks and personal resilience in such difficult times. It was truly invaluable.  

Will

The retreat was a very special time for me! The Northern Rivers crowd was refreshingly warm and attitude free; a genuinely friendly and welcoming atmosphere.

People were generous and eager to share their experiences in surviving and living with HIV and what it means to be positive today and face the prospects of growing old and living a full life. Something not to be taken for granted.

Honestly, I felt free to be myself and speak my mind and I gained a lot from the seminars and nights spent having a laugh around the fire! For a friend of mine, the retreat offered a huge step back into the world, having broken a long-standing isolation based on a lot of fear surrounding his status. Since then, he hasn't looked back and he has taken steps to achieve goals he had on the back burner for far too long. It's wonderful to see him come alive and he speaks of his time on retreat as an ice breaker. He has many fond memories to look back on and some new friends to boot not to mention improved self-esteem!

In sum, I would highly recommend the retreat to anyone. It was fun, sexy and a welcome respite from Sydney's hectic pace! Thanks to you all up north for making it possible! I'll be back! 

Doug

A lot of good thoughts and organisation went into making this year a big success, probably the best retreat I have attended. With excellent presenters from all walks of life, I would say we learnt a lot.

My special thanks go to the chef for the excellent variety of meals and good friendship with everyone. He has very good organisation skills – a keeper! It was good to see former friends returning again and making new friends this time. 

Alex

The retreat was an outstanding time for me – not only the chance to catch up with some really close friends, but to make and meet new ones and to relax and enjoy myself in one of the Northern Rivers most beautiful locations.

Company, food and the sessions were all brilliant. I left feeling renewed in myself and confident that as a group of men within a minority that we can flourish and develop and achieve a lot more than we ever could at the start of this problem nearly a quarter of a century ago.

Thanks to ACON and the sponsors. I don’t think anyone can underestimate the impact the weekend has on local men living with HIV and the enjoyment it brings them especially when times may get a bit harder. Once again thanks for a tremendous effort. We all enjoyed ourselves!  

Fred

My heartfelt thanks to all those concerned with the organisation and running of the 2010 retreat. A sterling effort by all involved in making it the best one I have been on since its inception 17 years ago.

Recent events saw my life shattered both physically and emotionally. For me, the retreat was an absolute godsend, it gave me a safe space where I could reconnect with myself, rekindle some old acquaintances and also make some great new ones. The home-style food was superb (thank you, Shane) with plenty to go round (even for the healthiest of appetites). There was plenty of information and activities, and the general atmosphere gave me a renewed sense of belonging and community. The retreat is an annual event I look forward to with anticipation.  

Vaughan, an HIV-negative partner

Bruce and I both enjoyed the venue; it was relaxing, beautiful setting, accommodation great and food was five star. As it was my first time, I found the workshops and speaker interesting and learned a lot of new things and confirmed things I had read from leaflets, books and the internet.

It was Bruce’s second time to the retreat so he had knowledge on what happens and I was his ears at one of the workshops as he was feeling tired.                                 

The activities were great: yoga , meditation, kayak. We also enjoyed the massage on the last complete day. It would be difficult to add more activity in the time frame of the retreat.

We met and made so many new friendships and contacts, which I feel is the important part of this retreat.
A good mix of people made it nice to look back to on a miserable raining winter’s day writing this email. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to go on the retreat. 

Tim

The decision to drive down from Brisbane to the Northern Rivers for the retreat was a spur of the moment one. I heard about the retreat, by chance, from a friend who had called in for a coffee after a local Planet Positive evening.

As a man who has lived with HIV since a positive diagnosis in the mid 1980s, I have in the past decade largely stopped talking about HIV/AIDS and its effects on my life. Strange as it may sound, it bores me in a confusing sort of way. I think about AIDS, of course. It’s always there, like an old phantom, lurking in the corridors of my mind. My life is regulated by the strict timetable imposed by the triple combination therapy developed in 1996 to combat it. I talk about HIV/AIDS now, in terms of education and management and history. I rarely talk about the personal effect on my life and the lost generation of dead friends.

That spontaneous decision to go off to the retreat was the right one for me. I sensed it on that night and the quick and friendly response from Neil at ACON Northern Rivers, when I emailed an inquiry seemed to set the tone for what turned out to be a relaxed, informative and friendly break in the country.

Since the retreat, I have thought about why it worked so well for me, as it did for so many others. Just being in the country in the Northern Rivers area was a start. As a city dweller, I only seem to remember how good it feels to get out of town when I do it. Getting away from people and congested traffic provides a perceptible sense of relief. In a busy, often hum drum life at home, the prospect of a number of days of planned activities among people with life experiences that I understood was a strangely liberating sensation.

Both meditation and yoga I’ve been intending to explore for years. As with many of my good intentions, tomorrow never came. Over the three days of the retreat I started both and have continued since I came home.

The big surprise followed immediately by delight that lasted for the entire retreat was the superb food prepared by the very talented Shane. I came home from the retreat feeling physically and spiritually rejuvenated.