Developing interests can lead on to new opportunities and relationships and can help to invigorate our lives.

By studying and renewing his interest in spirituality, Robert found a place where he could work from, that was not about being HIV positive. This opened him up to new experiences and new options.

I had a new story to tell.

Robert: When I went to university I got my computer. What a radical day that was because my identity shifted. I now had a new story. I had a story that said: “I have a computer” and that got a completely different response from people to talking about my symptoms.

I also teach.

I’m very busy now with the spiritual and study. I’m also teaching kids and watching them learn. I feel good about myself because I’m giving something back. In my spiritual pursuit I found a place where I belong and can work from. It’s not about being gay or HIV positive.

I feel like someone who is part of a bigger picture.

I had the thought that I would never be a viable person. In the early days I lost my career – I lost the thought of ever accruing money or buying a house. Because of this I developed the identity of ‘Mr HIV’ and all I had to talk about were my symptoms.

It’s about finding something that you’re willing to pursue that gets results; finding the thing that actually makes a difference. These new interests make me feel like someone who is part of a bigger picture.

I’ve turned HIV around and made things better for myself.

Roy emphasises the importance of normalising the experiences of HIV and his desire to move on by broadening his social networks, and also by turning his situation around to his advantage.

Roy: The changing event in my life was buying a computer. Teaching myself to use the computer has completely opened up a brand new world to me and to jobs that I wouldn’t have done. Now I’ve got to this point, I just get on with life.

• Taking steps to change can help us focus less on ourselves and more on the bigger picture. This can help us to feel part of an everyday life.

• Check out your local community centre or council for training and volunteering opportunities.