Some people do volunteer work to help other people. This improved how they felt about themselves, and helped them to look at new options and choices in their lives.

Nigel: I wanted to be useful and contribute through volunteering. I also felt that by being more involved in the use of services I would actually have a better understanding of HIV/AIDS. I needed to have a level of control.

Jacob: I decided to get involved with supporting other people. I get a good feeling when I’m chatting with people. Volunteer work is something I can do and it makes me feel good. It helps me to deal with HIV as well.

Some people move on in ways that accommodate their experiences and they learn from their new insights. The challenges of HIV help us to develop coping strategies and resilience. And as Greg asserts: “Toughness can be developed out of the things that happen to you”. While for others, the way they manage their diagnosis can sometimes be a trap in themselves; like taking drugs and drinking. (If you are thinking about making changes in your life and you want help on quitting or cutting back on drugs and alcohol go to page 46 for more information.)

• Volunteering or helping others can help shift our focus from our own difficulties. It can also provide new contacts, skills and opportunities.

Kate

Life will continue to throw up new challenges. We can learn from our past strength and resilience while remembering to take care of ourselves.