Positive Life NSW

Photo: CASPIX

Freddy

Once a month, Freddy goes to speak to students at suburban Sydney schools about his experience living with HIV. He has the speech pretty much down pat; his story about being HIV positive and the changes it has brought to his life. Freddy says the talks seem to go down well, which initially surprised him as he thought he would have trouble reaching across the divide between himself and the students.

"Now I am sure I could pat myself on the back and say it was because of my unique oratorical skills, but I do seem to get through to them. I can feel the connection and I feel that I am getting through to them. It is not what I imagined would be the case."

"There you are in a room with a whole lot of people with whom you have little in common. But then I feel I do and I feel that it is sensible and reasonable that I am there."

"Oddly enough I have also been part of sessions that educated doctors about HIV and it was interesting to see the difference. The doctors seemed more confused than the kids."

Freddy has been HIV positive for four years. The fact that he contracted HIV only a short time ago is a source of some anxiety for a man with a generally pretty positive outlook.

He had issues with depression before his diagnosis. "Yes, there are periods of depression. I tell myself I shouldn't link it to my situation, but I can't plead ignorance of how you contract HIV. It wasn't through a blood transfusion and so I have to deal with a certain feeling of stupidity."

And deal with it he does, even though it has been a long climb back since the initial diagnosis.

He had a rough start when he learned of his HIV status in London. He became sick and his relationship broke down. Returning to Australia, he went through 12 months of medical hell.

"Some people when they sero-convert with HIV have few problems, but I had a debilitating, uncomfortable and embarrassing illnesses. I was a person who was in touch with my body and always knew what it was doing. Suddenly things were happening that I didn't understand and it was difficult to come out the other side. I had to try to get back on my feet and get back to work."

As he recovered, he surrounded himself with friends with whom he shared a love of bad taste jokes. "My friends and I know a thousand inappropriate jokes about everything. It was important to choose people to have around me who recognised the situation for what it is." His mother has also been a huge supporter.

Now back at work, his boss knows his HIV status but he doesn't see the need to divulge it to everyone.

He lives in the inner city. "It is the eastern suburbs bubble, so I am not confronted by much. Although I am part of the Positive Life Speakers Bureau so I go out to schools in the western suburbs and talk to the kids."

HIV medications are only available through hospital pharmacies, so like most people with HIV he has the problem of only being able to get his medication during business hours. "I am lucky I can get away as they only open 9 to 5, Monday to Friday. I find myself collecting drugs for friends who can't get away from work."

Among his circle of friends he asks only that they don't gild the lilly. "I don't want to normalise the situation to a point where the gravity of it is lost. It is interesting; before I was diagnosed with HIV, all I heard was how bad it was and it should be avoided. Suddenly now I have HIV and everyone is saying 'oh its perfectly alright, it can be managed'."

"I find that mildly insulting to think people need to think it is not serious in order to handle the situation.

"Yes it is serious and I haven't forgotten all the things people said, so don't start buttering me up. Of course it is not what is used to be when it was a lot scarier. People should be praised for having made it through for so long. I don't need to be mollycoddled to get through it."